Death by a Million Paper Cuts
Have you ever felt the sting of a paper cut, that sharp, unexpected pain from something so seemingly harmless? Now, imagine that feeling amplified, not just from your own experiences, but from the subtle shifts in the moods of those around you.
This is what it can feel like when you experience emotions with an almost overwhelming intensity. You’ve noticed a subtle shift in your friend’s mood, something that has absolutely nothing to do with you. It’s like a tiny paper cut to them, a fleeting moment. But because you’re so attuned, you feel it too, a sharp sting that draws your attention and even makes you bleed emotionally. And the instinct isn’t just to acknowledge the cut; it’s to try and bandage your friend, to fix something that wasn’t even your wound to begin with.
Everything feels super intense because you process these emotions at such a high magnitude, and there’s an almost desperate need to express them because you feel like you might burst. How does one become like this, you might ask? Imagine growing up in an environment where you had to constantly decipher the unspoken emotions of adults, navigating their volatile moods because they couldn’t contain them, leading to sudden snaps directed at you. Now, before you even think about making a simple request, you have to meticulously gauge and decipher their current emotional state to avoid triggering an outburst.
If you’ve experienced the slow erosion of your spirit through countless small actions that felt insignificant to others but monumental to you, if you’ve carried the weight of unspoken hurts, the death by a million paper cuts, this message is for you. It hurts the most precisely because no one expects a piece of paper to cause such pain, let alone the cumulative agony of a million tiny cuts. It’s not your fault that you feel so deeply. Your empathy is a powerful trait, but it shouldn’t come at your expense. You need to actively set boundaries for yourself. Decenter yourself. This is an active choice. When you notice yourself absorbing someone else’s mood, gently remind yourself: This is not mine. Catch those moments when you instinctively try to fix they are not yours to fix. Look forward, focusing on your own emotional landscape. It’s not your job to constantly decipher the emotional weather of everyone around you, nor is it your responsibility to fix their storms.
I know you care deeply, and that’s a beautiful part of who you are. But it’s also okay, truly okay, when you don’t carry the weight of others’ burdens. Be selfish with your heart. Yes, it’s big and generous, but it’s not an endless resource for everyone. Seek out and cherish the people who genuinely care for you, who see your sensitivity as a strength. Stop bracing yourself for the worst in every interaction. Allow yourself to enjoy the present moment and embrace the freedom of being authentically you. Remember, your heart is precious. Protect it, set boundaries, and surround yourself with those who cherish its unique and expansive nature. Embrace the freedom of feeling joy without the constant anticipation of pain.